UNINVITED

I have a special guest today from THEGIVINGCOUCH.COM She will be sharing her heart with us and stepping out of the box to reach for her Tomorrow. She has a Powerful Ministry of allowing others on her website to share their testimony of deep dark secrets, hurts, pains, Joy and Triumphs…

She has such an Awesome Ministry we want to welcome Ashlyn to share her heart with us.

Don’t we all feel unappreciated and lonely at times!!!

What do we do about it?

Let’s hear what Ashlyn has to say to us today!!!

Uninvited by Ashlyn Pinner

There was a social media post that circulated a few months ago about being a B-list friend.
I saw friend after friend share the post, commenting on how they felt less than and left out.

Why are we this way?

We all feel left out.

We all feel uninvited.

Yet, we all stay alone.

Because the enemy likes us isolated.

He likes us disconnected and discontent with others.

He likes us blaming, assuming, and envying others.

He likes us growing bitter and resentful towards others.

I’ve been there. 

I have allowed insecurity, anxiety, and pride to convince me that I’m alone, unwanted, and uninvited. 

In 2019, I married my husband, earned a head coaching position, and found out I was pregnant.

Sounds like the greatest year of my life, right?

By the end of 2019, I was isolated and lonely.

Some people will say that it was because I was busy and stressed.

Some people will say that it was because I was pregnant and resting.

The truth is, at some point that year I had started feeling left out.

I felt unaccepted when I tried to spark up conversation at the gym or work.

I felt uninvited when I saw women posting pictures of dinners and holiday parties. 

I just felt un-everything.

I developed a victim mindset and grew bitter and resentful.
I remember coming home from work and going straight to bed for several weeks in a row.
I went through the motions, absent, alone, and completely shut off from the people around me. 

Their fault, not mine, right?

Finally, God humbled me enough so I could hear from Him.

I had gone to the post office to buy stamps for baby shower invitations.
As soon as the register showed $83.00, I just started crying. 

Right there in the post office. 

Stamps set me off.

I didn’t want to pay $83 dollars to invite people who I felt like never invited me.

I didn’t want to pay $83 dollars to see people I hadn’t seen for months.

I was focused on I, and I didn’t want to do it. 

I drove home, determined to call off the shower. 

That night I sat on my bed, exhausted from the constant battle.

Why don’t they invite me?

What is wrong with me?

Why don’t I fit in?

Then,

I’m not supposed to fit in.

I wouldn’t go anyways.

Stop being so emotional. 

The cycle, y’all EXHAUSTING!!!

Then, finally, God, I’m so tired of feeling this way.

Right then, God asked a simple question that changed everything:

What are you going to do about it? 

That question dug in and opened my heart up to hear Him.

Are you going to continue to drive yourself deeper into darkness and isolation?

Or do you want to do something about it and start inviting and investing in others? 

What are YOU going to do?

I let that question sink in, then the Holy Spirit pushed me.

What would Jesus have done?

He Would Have Invited

When Jesus was mocked, ridiculed, and questioned, He still invited.

When He was doubted, betrayed, and backstabbed, He still invited.

When He was hanging from the cross, beaten and bruised, He was inviting.

I decided that day to be someone who invites. 

Little by little, I opened my home and my heart up to other women.

I invited them for coffee on Saturday mornings.

I invited them to come join me for a walk.

I invited them to just come and sit with me.

It was uncomfortable and inconvenient at times, but it was worth it.

I have never regretted inviting women in or including someone new.

I only regret the months I spent isolated and focused on me. 

There are some days where inviting comes easy,
but there are still some days where I fight isolation.

I have to ask myself, Are you seeking solitude or running into isolation?

Isolation is self-focused.
It’s a deceptive protection tactic.

Isolation is where we hide.

Solitude is spirit-focused.

It’s a rest and renewal tactic.

Solitude is where we recharge.

Imagine if instead of assuming other didn’t want us and isolating ourselves,

we chose to serve others and create connections through invitations.

The lie is that we aren’t invited. 

We aren’t included.

We aren’t seen.

The truth is that we have received the greatest invitation of all time:

Come and follow me.

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
Matthew 4:19

Come and abide in me. 

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.

John 15:4

Come and work with me.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”

Matthew 28:18-19

When you accept that invitation and invest in your relationship with Jesus, 

you will realize that you are accepted, seen, worthy, valued, and loved. 

He has invited you to live with Him forever.

He has included you in His plan for eternity.

He has had His eyes on you from the beginning.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…
Jeremiah 1:5

He wants you and He welcomes you.

When you believe that you will be free to welcome others.

It took me a while, but I finally see my ordinary life as extraordinary.

God drew me out of isolation to be someone who invites.

He picked me up from my sulking and told me to seek.

He corrected me so that I could create connections.

When I start to feel like the victim.

Like the one who was left out.

Like the one who wasn’t invited.

Like the one who was forgotten…

I think about Jesus and what He would do.

He would invite.

You aren’t the B-list, back burner friend,

you are a daughter of the King with a mission:

Invite people to join you, on earth and in eternity.